I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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