Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Pants are for mortals
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
