dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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