He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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