Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize