yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
