Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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