i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
