you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
