We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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