Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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