Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
