moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
