my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
