Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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