Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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