Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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