Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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