She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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