Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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