so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
