I just saw a hot homeless man
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize