I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
