I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
