All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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