shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
