I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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