i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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