Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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