sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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