i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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