im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
