i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
