Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Floor bacon is actually really good
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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