By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
