Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You left your phone here
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