I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
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Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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