Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
