btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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