I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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