just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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