i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
