ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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