She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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