ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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