I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize