My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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