I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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