totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
