Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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