I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize