He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
