Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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