took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
