You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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