I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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