I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
