I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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