no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
