My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
